#Her The test of a man is in how much he gives and not takes, and taking from you to do you in choosing who you share yourself with, as much as I would still poke fun at them (not what I call my penis), and maybe get jealous, I would remain not giving two shakes of a lambs tail because as if I were a wolf in sheeps clothing, or a wolf in a sheep in a wolf in a sheep. I'll try not to drive the discussion like a mind in the gutter, although they are necessary for having a roof to keep and collect rainfall...whatever that might be (just ask)(hell, just ask things like you're writing in a red pen, you answer me with crickets often but even more do I deserve it, but then again all humans are shortchanged for healthy humored halfwitism handwritings) I know genetically mothers control the energy levels of a child and judaism follows the mother. Christianity is all over the place and probably is why has so many extremists. Cringe / not really a cringe because only what certain people called my worldview at the time. How do you feel about religion now, you seem to have an interest in mystery traditions particularly of guru, or perhaps pictures speak louder than they dare put in words. I never know what I know entirely except for at the time. I have spent time and again staying up and reading but I have scoured so much of non-fiction that connections have formed that appear fantastical, so I write much more than I read and find the fantastical more often than I can remember. Yes, grandpas dementia is kicking in on both sides but only fosters attachment and forgiveness, maybe it's good the energy doesn't come from us (eww, referring to 'men' as 'us', so unmanly), we burn out often. Sometimes now I listen to non fiction and think of it as fiction; perhaps not even worth remembering. I guess I can understand what Paul and Damien do, continually blasting their memory with drugs, I don't understand that... tone. It disgusts me but doesn't at all, because I can relate, at times, for some that time might be a nanosecond from a longstanding naieve square, and others whole months of despair as I help them come off heroin, consider suicide, and the other alcoholism and polysubstance abuse. Is it a surprise the German has bipolar and multiple personality disorder? For the socialism he brought and the gypsies taken hitler certainly had something disorderly within him. But that would be stereotyping(this is bad now?). I'm so lost and wandering along the mine field of ideas, single ones I've seen first hand blow up by accident to cause a number of incidents as close as multiple suicide. But they were all compulsive liars and thieves, so it makes things very difficult to know for sure. But I did pop his bubble like it was a very very big pimple. Head sized pimple, yep a true mindblower. I don't know why aesthetic is pleasing to the eye and beauty is bliss to the soul, but I do know that there must certainly be reason to why I can't help but crave to be your slave, I know you've only ever treated me right. And in so doing I wish to grant wishes and say that any anger I know you have but are better than to show, the you that you are tuly yourself with, is the one I would love more to see and would gladly crave to have you stave off any of my insecurity in concept or opinion, express angers at me, I love that and if worst comes to worst I can respond instead of you fighting a figment of your imagination, and if you like anger I can stoke your fire otherwise I'll wait until you ask for it specifically in an orderly way. And if leading people on is a thing people do then feel free to fake any famine or fortune for fishing for my compliments, because I have many christmas presents saved up of spare and stray compliments to gift to you for you. Because yes, pride is another thing this cocker spaniel was trained on as bring worthless, so I honestly can't see them in my rorschach much longer than the moment they are there. And who's to say they're not a gingerbreadhoused wizard trying to butter me up just to give away my love? Ah, but what pride do I have other than in what I give. The test of a man is in who much he gives, and that is akin to the lion's pride. The daisy chain is girly thing, but I certainly loved girls then and played along with it and so my mind works like a daisy flower picking off a petal an hour, I write too much, I don't write enough.

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