how i meditate where it gets me

How I meditate and where it gets me I started doing my own thing in combination with what every app has taught me, in doing specific, set aside time, meditation sessions of focussing on circular breathing and changing patterns of breath, all the while noting and quieting thoughts. My own thing, that I do normally, is a type of mindfulness. I try to be aware of all that I can be in a moment. Alternating the colours I focus on, reading number plates, absorbing information of authors and their articles, memes and the memes about memes.

I try to notice the entendre, the intent of something, and taking particular care to notice double and triple and quadruple entendres. I also try to take words out of context as I am presented with them in context – asking “where else does this apply and to what end?” Perhaps every time someone says “I love you” it is a resonance of every other time it has ever or will ever be spoken – a kind of Godhead for love, or as though you are loved by the universe. To stretch one’s awareness of what may or may not be – anything that can be present, anything that one can be aware of. To be in recognition of the possibility of the Dao – an inherent way through time; where all objects are but one object and it is not so much an object rather a process that can do as it wills.

Hearing “I love you” and thinking also of who else loves you, of you exclaiming it about Mars when you get there and of the first time you said it to your parents. To transform the mundane, disconnected phrasing of everyday normalcy into a memory-and-vision-inducing trigger – to let the emotion of every past experience get as many a chance as possible to replay itself in your mind’s eye. Soon enough, with enough awareness and recognition (the former of which we can never have enough) one is able to mix the recipe of spice and pleasure, wet and dry, into a consistent peacefulness that can cook into insight. At times I recall too much of fear and pain, ‘a bad trip’, other times I make it through old deathly valleys to the river on the mountain of understanding, all thirsts quenched a bad trip washed away.

It’s not PTSD, it’s necessary on the road to growth, but trips, good or bad, teach me about how to take a situation – whether to let the phenomena control the mind, or the mind control phenomena.

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how i meditate where it gets me

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